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Life Is The Most Precious Gift We Have As Human Beings, Deathography
Life Is The Most Precious Gift We Have As Human Beings, Deathography
Introduction
Life is the most precious gift we have as human beings; it is through the life that we poses that we get to experience all the wonders of the world. Life is also full of hardships in that everyone is prone to be faced with some sort of challenges that vary in one way or another. Life occurs in different stages which are determined by the biological structure of our bodies. Life begins when a sperm fertilizes a female egg in the ovary; this is followed with the birth of a human being. When a human being is born, they are armed with are with an immune system that helps defend the body when it comes under threat. All human beings are thus faced with the fact that they will die one day. Despite the fact that as human beings, we do not have the quality of immortality, we are tasked with the duty of preserving our human race through the maintenance of our health (Boerre, 2006).
Death can be caused by many factors some of which have proved to be inevitable. Human beings are thus at the mercy or fate of the superior being they believe in terms of protection. Human beings can also prolong their life through the maintenance of a healthy lifestyle which in turn has been known to improve the sustainability of the bodies. The loss of a loved one is one of the hardest experienced to deal with. One does not have to experience loss to feel the pain a person undergoing grief is going through. This is brought about by the quality we have as human beings that makes us vulnerable to our emotions (Family Education Network, 2010).
This research paper focuses on the deathograghy of my grandfather. It looks at the ways in which the death of my grandfather affected me as a child. It father looks at the ways in which human beings deal with death in terms of ours vulnerability to the factor.
The experienced of the loss of a loved one is a stage that we all have to go through as human beings. This involves dealing with the fact that humans cannot resurrect from death and can only be missed by their loved ones. There are many causes of death as stated earlier. The cause of a person’s death influences the way in which human beings approaches grieving. If a loved one dies a sudden and an unexpected death, the family and friends have a harder time dealing with their death in that they were not emotionally prepared for the loss of the individual. If a person has undergone a lifetime of suffering due to the condition that they were faced with, the family and friends may have an easier time adapting to the possibility of their death.
Another factor that influences the reaction to the death of a loved one is the age of the diseased. If a person loses their life at a young age, it is hard for the friends and family to cope with the loss due to the question of what could have become of the individual if they were to live a full life. If a person loses their life at an older age, they leave their relatives with memories that can be in form of a legacy which cushions the pain. Despite these factors, dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy. Human beings have feelings which on many occasions are uncontrollable. One thus has to be given time to grieve so that they can move to the next stage which is the acceptance of death (Orbach, Gross, Glaubman, 2006).
The experience of the death of a loved one at a young age affects the way we view life in terms of positivity or negativity. As children, we are brought up in a world where our parents protect us from the evils of the world. This protection can only go on for a period of time in that there comes a time in our life where we have to face the reality. I was only seven years when I lost my grandfather. This occurred several years ago but the memories are still fresh in my mind. My grandfather was a big part of my life. My parents ensured that we had a personal relationship at a young age. The relationship between a grandparent and a grandchild is different from the relationship between a parent and a child. Parents always nag their children to give them grandchildren so that they can spoil them silly. This is one of the perks of being a senior member of the society. My grandfather and I were inseparable, his main aim was to teach me all the lessons he taught my father as a child. Our connection was thus important for my growth and development. These memories that I carry of him have influenced the way I approach certain situations to date (MedicineNet.Com, 2004).
Personal experience (deathology) of the loss of my grandfather
My grandfather was just like any regular elderly person. He was full of wisdom and was always slow but sure of the things he spoke about. My grandfather had also been battling with conditions that were caused as result of the old age. These conditions ranged from the inability of his cognitive ability to compute various facts at a faster pace. He was also prone to being attacked by high blood pressure and arthritis which affected the immune system of his body. Before his death, my grandfather had shown signs of a potential heart attack due to his weak state. The experience of his suffering made me aware that there was something wrong that I could not get around to. I thus developed some sort of fear in preparation of worse circumstances that were to follow. This shows that young people can detect when there is a problem in a household.
One day after I had taken a visit to my grandfather’s house, I carried out my daily activities that I took on with him. When it was time to go back home with my parents, I said goodbye. This goodbye was however different from the others in that it was long in nature. It may have been a symbol that I should maximize on the little time I had left with him. The look in his eyes indicated that he was going to miss me before I had left his house. When I reached home, I went to bed and work up with my parents standing next to my bed. This time they were not filled with the usual happy faces they woke me up with in the morning. At this point, I could tell that something was wrong compared to the previous times he fell sick. My parents thus changed their tone and told me to sit down. This was shocking due to the fact that I was already sitting down. My dad then started telling me a story on how sometimes people live their homes to go to a better place. I then cut his story short by demanding to know what was really wrong. They then told me that my beloved grandfather had passed away five hours after I had left his house. I immediately went into a state of shock that was accompanied with a lot of screaming seeing that I was a child. I was not familiar with the concept of death at this age, what made me react this way was the fact that I knew that he was not coming back again. This was made possible by the story my father told me about my grandfather going to heaven.
Research shows that there are various stages of reaction to the death of a loved one. The first stage is denial where we go into a state that makes us think what is happening is not real or just a dream (Koocher, 2002). I then told myself that everything was going to be okay, this was accompanied with the thoughts I had of meeting him the next time I go to visit.
The second stage one goes through after the loss of a loved one is the grief stage. This involves dealing with the situation by recognizing that a loved one will not be coming back. This is accompanied by the shedding of tears due to the intensity of the pain that a mourner has. The time it takes for a person to grieve varies with the person, the cause of death, the age of the diseased and lastly the support of the friends and family of an individual (Hois, 2001). When I realized that my grandfather was really gone, I cried for about a week remembering all the precious time we spent together. This was a very difficult time for me due to the fact that I was a child who was used to getting what I wanted. Learning that I could not get everything I wanted was a new experience for me in that I knew that I would have to face other challenges in life. Another factor that I dealt with was the realization that my parents and siblings were not going to be around forever as I had imagined. This opened doors for a new source of fear which I later termed the fear of the unexpected (Sengendo & Nambi, 2001).
The last stage in dealing with the loss of a loved one is the acceptance of the death. This involves accepting the reality of the situation at hand. It also involves a deeper appreciation of the loved one and the value they brought to your life. This also involves moving forward as a human being and looking forward to the positive things life brings (Souza & Klein, 2001). I took two weeks to accept that my grandfather was gone forever. This acceptance was not complete in that I would occasionally breakdown when I remembered him. Accepting the death of my grandfather also meant that I had become a more mature person despite being only seven yours old. I could thus approach the difficult situations in life with more maturity due to the hard time I had gone through.
The loss of a loved one affects the immediate friends and family for the worst or on some occasions the better. Some children have been known to blame themselves for a death of a loved one in that they are suspicious at a young age. This type of situation is not ideal for the health of a child in that it affects the proper development of the child in terms of self esteem and confidence. It also makes a child approach all the difficulties they come across in their lives with a negative point of view as opposed to being positive. Children who have lost loved ones at an early age tend to act out more often than not due to the constant need of attention from the people who surround them. It is thus important to ensure that the proper stages of grieving are followed though the use of counseling from the family or a professional (Boerre, 2006).
Conclusion
Death is inevitable to all the living things that walk on the face of this earth. Human beings are therefore tasked with the responsibility of living a healthy and full lifestyle. This involves being positive even though one is faced with hardships. One of the ways that makes the acceptance of the death of a person easier is the knowing that the person was happy and enjoyed their life to the fullest. Another way that human beings can go about this situation is the appreciation for the life they still have due to the fact that it is not a permanent gift.
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